Leave Me Behind by K.M. Moronova

Some reviews complain about a disconnect between the main characters inner dialogues and their actions, especially with Bradshaw, but I think it’s fairly obvious his actions are driven by not wanting this woman who reminds him of his dead friend to end up like said dead friend. There’s no disconnect. His inner dialogue is “fuck she reminds me of Abrahm, can’t let her die like Abrahm.” And then his outer dialogue is very much “drop from the squad. We don’t want you here. You’re too weak to be here.” His violent actions are an effort to act on his outer dialogue while his more ‘sensual’ ones are driven by his inner dialogue of wanting her. It’s pretty clear to me, but maybe it’s less clear to people who have never exhibited self destructive tendencies despite knowing what they were doing was the opposite of self serving. 

I love a feral man and good god in heaven, Bradshaw may take the cake for most unhinged. Obsessed with his character growth through the book. 

This may easily be in my top five favorite reads ever. There were definitely parts that were hard to get through, but fortunately they were brief and not descriptive. The LOSS in this book was heart wrenching. But despite that, everything gained was so bittersweet. I devoured this book in no time flat and loved every single second of it.